Tonight the Republican presidential candidates had a big debate, 10 candidates. The last time that many rich white guys got together, I think Exxon merged with Mobil.

All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.

John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more like one in a trillion?

First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring... soon after... comes Suffer...ring!

At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn't that used to be called a mirror?

The difference between Men and Women is that Men love The 3 Stooges, and Women think they're assholes.

The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That’s a long trip for Joe Biden.