President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.

Anybody can have a life. Careers are hard to come by.

With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000.

Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.

Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the campaign is really over. Remember before the election? 'The audacity of hope!' 'Yes, we can!' 'A change we can believe in!' Now it's, 'We're all screwed.'

Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'