"I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.

President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name: Running Deficits.

I was watching Discovery Channel the other day, and you know that they have come up with a new theory about how dinosaurs was wiped out? It was a midturn election.

These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten.

As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her.

The Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter and parachuted into the stadium. What was even more amazing was when Prince Charles flew in using his ears as a hang glider.

Show business is like Champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it everyday