Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people.

Gary Condit is on the Congressional committee for Homeland Security. They make the guy responsible for Homeland Security who is the guy no one would feel secure going home with.

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

While President Bush was out of town Hillary Clinton stopped by the White House on Friday for an important meeting with her decorator.

President Bush said that our kids must be taught how to read. He said if his aides never learned to read, they'd never be able to tell him what's in the newspapers every day.

Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse?

Like in [the 1950s] if you wanted to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood you claimed he was a Communist. Nowadays, you want to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood, you claim they are Republican.