55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!

The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don't send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic advisers.

They say that most airline seats on planes today are meant for 170-pound passengers. The last time the average American weighed 170 pounds, the Wright Brothers were flying the plane.

I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.

I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.

Anybody can have a life. Careers are hard to come by.