55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!

When they said "Make love, not war" at Woodstock, they never imagined that one would become as dangerous as the other.

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.

Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife.

Big scandal on the new 'Survivor' series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team.

John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.

To give you an idea how bad the American economy is, Mexico is now calling for a fence along the border. Stay on your side!