The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.

I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch.

It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.

Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced his new economic team. You know what he should do? Hire those people who were in charge of his fundraising campaign. We can pay this thing off in like a week.

Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Kenneth Lay.

Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a job, and get a life. That's the Republican version of hope and change, ladies and gentlemen.

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.