President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have any medals to throw away, but in his defense he did have all his services records thrown out.

The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.

Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

The other night, President Bush's press conference was pre-empted by 'American Idol.' You know the difference between President Bush and 'American Idol?' See, on 'American Idol,' the one with the most votes wins.

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?

The Canadian Prime Minister said Canada would lend the U.S. its full military support. You know what that means: Both tanks.