Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.

If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.

But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.

It's very good to know when you're being lapped on the racetrack, 'cause you've got to put your foot down on the pedal and get going.

The allure becomes, "Can I make these rooms bigger?" Can I fill these 1,500-seat rooms? Then the allure is, how much, if we're being honest, how much can I squeeze out of it financially?

What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier.

First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife.