I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.

Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia LaBeouf or Leo DiCaprio. You're a comic.

If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.

I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, "Oh, alright."

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.