I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.

I've been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you're finding your stride 30 years into it.

All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to be. I went to work feeling nauseous.

'Christopher Walken' is my "Hotel California," but I've done it so much

I created a human being from paper and I put it on the screen, a unique individual. I wish every performance, every IMDB credit, I would do it over, because I would do it better, because I would do it less. If that makes any sense.

The allure becomes, "Can I make these rooms bigger?" Can I fill these 1,500-seat rooms? Then the allure is, how much, if we're being honest, how much can I squeeze out of it financially?

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?