When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, "Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken." It is a bit of a moral victory.

I created a human being from paper and I put it on the screen, a unique individual. I wish every performance, every IMDB credit, I would do it over, because I would do it better, because I would do it less. If that makes any sense.

I think stand-up's, the older they get, the better they get.

This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.

My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.

Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. People will say, "Well, there's a lot to do in Long Island..." but you know what, if Jim Gaffigan was here, tickets would be gone a month ago, if Chelsea Handler was at the Barclays Center, gone.

If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.