I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

The first time I watched [Keith] Olbermann, his opening monologue, I completely changed the way I approached my radio show.

What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!

I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, "I don't know." It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.