I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.

You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.

If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.

I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.

Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.