Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.

The allure becomes, "Can I make these rooms bigger?" Can I fill these 1,500-seat rooms? Then the allure is, how much, if we're being honest, how much can I squeeze out of it financially?

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, "I don't know." It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.

George Carlin put it best. He said, "My old act was so easy to do because there was so little of me in it."