Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.

I've always been very open about it. I've been very open about my addiction, about my panic disorder. But I think that transparency is what can separate you from others because I think that is where comedy is going.

It's very good to know when you're being lapped on the racetrack, 'cause you've got to put your foot down on the pedal and get going.

People are more interested in someone who goes on stage and tells the truth.

I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?