Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.

The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.

Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. People will say, "Well, there's a lot to do in Long Island..." but you know what, if Jim Gaffigan was here, tickets would be gone a month ago, if Chelsea Handler was at the Barclays Center, gone.

This happens to me every couple of years. I'll look at someone I respect and I'll realize that he's outworking me. It changes the way I behave for the next half decade.

My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.

If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So it is a monastic life, it is very lonely, if I was prone to loneliness. It's a lot like wrestling, no one can throw a block for you, no one can give you a pass. Nobody can hand the ball off to you, it's you only for an hour and a half every night.

Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.