Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

The jokes were perfect! Then George Carlin started talking about the seven dirty words you can't say on television, then it evolved into social commentary.

I don't have a nine-to-five brain.

[George Carlin] was obsessive about time; he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live; you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network; you've got to be off. And it's perfect.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

True Yankees are born, not made.

You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.