I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.

It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.

Women have it good when it comes to masturbation. Guys, we just have our hands. For the rest of our lives, that's it. Sometimes your friend will go, 'Ever try your left hand? It's like a whole different person.' Yeah, a retarded person.

You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.

I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I don't care who knows it but I don't do it on stage. People that disagree with me that are listening to my podcast that are not Christian, I'm not trying to sell them Christianity and I make it very clear.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.