I will read anything rather than work.

Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.