Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

I will read anything rather than work.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?