Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.

I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review, it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event, is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism, does he write "I had a fun time"? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way, but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.