I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.