Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.

I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?