I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.

I thought we talked things out!' 'Yes, and you listened very carefully to every word you had to say.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.