I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

I know what I wish Ralph Nader would investigate next. Marriage. It's not safe, it's not safe at all.

An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.