If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I will read anything rather than work.

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!

I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.