Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.