If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.