Jeff Garlin Quotes

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.