I think humor is key [to a successful middle-grade novel]. Kids like to read for entertainment, and the best way to entertain kids is to make them laugh.

fish and visitors stink in 3 days.

I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.

that if you don't read nobody does

You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.