Jeff Lindsay Quotes

IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.

...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.

It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.

been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2

She really did like me, the idiot.

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

Happily for me, ninety-nine percent of all human life is spent simply repeating the same old actions, speaking the same tired clichés, moving like a zombie through the same steps of the dance we plodded through yesterday and the day before and the day before. It seems horribly dull and pointless-but it really makes a great deal of sense. After all, if you only have to follow the same path every day, you don't need to think at all. Considering how good humans are at any mental process more complicated than chewing, isn't that the best for everybody?

It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.

But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.

I'm a very neat monster.

Killing makes me feel good.

I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.

Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense.

And what did you do last night, Dexter? Oh, I played with my dolls while a friend chopped up my sister.

Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.

I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.

And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.

Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

…a cheerful black shadow reared up behind him as he spoke, thundering a happy challenge to my Dark Passenger, which slid forward and bellowed back.

Stop the nurse like the monkey.