My life and my career have been a series of happy and not so happy accidents.

I've always liked cops, as much as you can like a group of people, you know? Sure, I've been hassled, but I'm a white dude - privileged.

I'm pretty careful about the things I say ahead of time. I'm thoughtful about not going too far. The only thing you can do occasionally is be too much.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

My life and my career have been a series of happy and not so happy accidents.

I want the roast to be like a party where everybody goes and has a good time.

I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move.