My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

Life is tough, and if we don't laugh, we're going to - our head will explode.

Ninety percent of all prisoners in all jails get out some day. So why not give them a little levity in what's otherwise a very dark life?

With everybody having a Facebook and a Twitter, I feel like regular people consider themselves stars. It's a live, real-time upload of every time we buy a pair of socks, the most telling sign that we're losing our politeness. When you know everything about somebody, you can talk to them any way you please.

I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move.

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

You have such a huge career ... behind you.