I've always liked cops, as much as you can like a group of people, you know? Sure, I've been hassled, but I'm a white dude - privileged.

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

I like to roast things from the inside out. I like to know what's going on.

You have such a huge career ... behind you.

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.

The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that's a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity.