I had a life experience that most of my - that none of my friends had. I remember I became everybody's rabbi. Everybody who needed advice would talk to me, and it became an obvious thing.

The good thing about a jail show is nobody gets up and walks out.

South Park called...they want their everything back.

I don't think it's unfair to have writers. I think if you're going to do a roast on television, as if you were doing a play or you were reading a script of a movie, you would have the best possible material. And those are the people who score, the people who are willing to listen to the roasting experts and then come out there and own that material.

Comics just don't retire. They either die young or they go to 100.

Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.

I would vote for you for President but I'm against big government.