I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.

I don't have that addictive, "What's going on?" feeling anymore, thank god.

I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading.

I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.

I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to have kids. I'm doing what I want to do and people who want kids are doing what they want to do. What about this scenario makes me selfish?

I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.

I don't like to joke about dating.