It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.

You never know anymore if you'll see something you don't want to see, if you're jealous of something, if you're going through a breakup and you see something, so I just don't even look at those things any more [ in Instagram].

I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay."

I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.

It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, "I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open." Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.