I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.

A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested; it's me.

Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

I try to minimize the noise, and I don't use Facebook except for my fan page, and I don't look at anything. It's getting a lot easier.

My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that "back to school" feeling ingrained in me so that time of year is when I usually do personal goals or resolutions.

Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want to have kids, it's that I'm having a hard time relating to people I know.