My mother was like, "What did they teach you?", and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.

I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay."

I'm really big on hormones.

Not everyone is there to get an abortion. Your body is like a car that has needs and women's bodies constantly need a level of care that men don't.

If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.

I think people with anxiety do different things during different years, and for me, I waded through my anxiety during the last two years with men, and flirting, and dating, and this thing and that thing, and so that's going to stop, and that has stopped.

Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.