I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may come off like a stark raving asshat, being funny is the most important tool I have to stay sane. The ability to say what I think is the key to allowing me to feel in control.

This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period.

Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.

Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.

When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.

Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.