When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a cotton pad?" I'm not taking them off." Why not?" I spent $180 on that makeup job and I refuse to wash my face until I get my money's worth.

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.

Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pithy and uproarious and not to be missed. Notes from the Underwire is charming, hilarious, and just snarky enough to be ultimately satisfying.

When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.

The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously.

I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.