Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items is his job because I kind of don't like to bend. I also refuse to carry anything heavier than my purse.

Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.

When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a cotton pad?" I'm not taking them off." Why not?" I spent $180 on that makeup job and I refuse to wash my face until I get my money's worth.

Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.

I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.

The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously.