Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.

Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.

Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.

As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.

Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.

I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.

This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period.