I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.

I've never been prudish.

I can't stand folk who are all snobby about reality TV.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.

I still can't set up the ironing-board. A complete Luddite.