I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.
I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.
I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.
Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.
Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.
As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.