I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.

For me, being a woman suits what I want to talk about and what my audience wants to hear. Maybe I'm a dying breed.

I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.

I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.