The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.

The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather's going to be dreadful and there will be nylon sheets. You'll then be pleasantly surprised.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.

I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.