Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable.

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.