Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.