Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.
Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.
The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.
Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.
'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.
There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.