Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.

You ought to expect better of people. It encourages you to be a better person yourself.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.