The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.
Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.
The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.
Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.
A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.