The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.